194704
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+ | =====Nightmare For One or Parliamentary Procedure.===== | ||
+ | |||
+ | By Dot English. | ||
+ | |||
+ | __Time__: March, 1946. | ||
+ | |||
+ | __Location__: | ||
+ | |||
+ | __Voice__: " | ||
+ | |||
+ | (Applause: Scent of violets and hyacinths - 'The heights by great mem reached and kept' - purple and fine linen - greatest honour the Club can award - dignity - integrity - deference - respect - Gloria in Excelsis - Ring the Bell, Watchman, and other expressions of triumph.) | ||
+ | |||
+ | __End of Part 1.__ | ||
+ | |||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | |||
+ | __Part 2.__ | ||
+ | |||
+ | __Time__: 1 year later. | ||
+ | |||
+ | __Location__: | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Am I the Chairman? Am I Chief Custodian of the Bone, charged with disciplining this hydra-headed rabble, or am I merely a punching ball set up to take the verbal blows, the uppercuts, the right and left slashes in this free-for-all no-holds-barred bedlam!" | ||
+ | |||
+ | Patience, Jack lad, Patience. That herd of Old Members settled down together in the front benches, chewing over a generous cud of their past achievements, | ||
+ | |||
+ | Do we hear the President laugh mirthlessly and say that in the matter of Parliamentary Procedure all Club members without exception live in a darkness as black as the back side of the moon! (Point of Order, Mr. Chairman. You'll have to put that in the form of a Motion and then well be prepared to discuss it... Those for raise the right hand. Those against raise the left hand Those who hold no opinion raise both hands. Scrutineers please...) | ||
+ | |||
+ | Let us now turn to the Motions on the Agenda. Ah-ha-h-h, Contentious matter! All over the room members are leaping to their feet like little Tom-Tinker-who-sat-on-a-clinker, | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Point of Order!" | ||
+ | |||
+ | "I disagree!" | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Mr. President that last speaker is quite wrong!" | ||
+ | |||
+ | You intermittently hear a timid voice trying to wrestle its way in for an explanation and your sympathy goes out to this poor dumb deluded newcomer. She has spent a bit of time worrying out the two motions, (a) that the Club is __against__ appointing members as Hon. Members, (b) that the Club is __in favour__ of appointing members as Hon. Members. 5 ft. 8 ins. of bristling aggressiveness leaps to his feet and tells her in fine scorn that makes her curl up at the edges that she needn' | ||
+ | |||
+ | Let us have Hon. Members. Let us have __no__ Hon. Members. | ||
+ | |||
+ | X equals 1. X equals -1. Therefore X equals Nothing. | ||
+ | |||
+ | She doesn' | ||
- | - | ||
- | NIGHTLIARE POR ONE | ||
- | or | ||
- | PARLIAItNTARY. PROCEDURE. By Dot English. Time: March, 1946. | ||
- | Location: The Rationalist Association Headquarters. | ||
- | - Voice: " | ||
- | (Applause: Scent of violets and hyacinths - 'The heights "oL 'great mem reached and kept' - purple and fine linen - greatest honour | ||
- | the Club can award - dignity - integrity - deference - respect - Gloria | ||
- | in Excelsis - Ring the Bell, Watchman, and other expressions of triumoh.. | ||
- | End of Part 1. | ||
- | Part 2* | ||
- | Time: 1 year later. | ||
- | Location: The same, but now abbreviated to the Rat House. Annual meeting in progress - lots of voices talking wholesale lots of nothing - a confusion unequalled this side of delerium. Unhappy President being bombarded with Motions, Amendments and Points of Order till he feels like a fraction being reduced to its lotrest terms. | ||
- | "Am I the Chairman? Am I Chief Custodian of the Bone, charged with disciplining this hydra-headed rabble, or am I merely a punching ball set up to take the verbal blows, the uppercuts, the right and left | ||
- | las-hes in this fx-se-for-all no-holds-barred bedlam:" | ||
- | Patience, Jack lad, Patience. That herd of Old :dembers setloCL 'down together in the front benches, chewing over a generous cud of t'Jei; past achievements, | ||
- | first being torn to rags. Its flesh was hurled to the din3oes, its 1?6TIES to the crows and its scalp hung on the topmost eucalynt, but frorj the welter of slaughter emerged that bright shining jewel, the Constitution, | ||
- | Do we hear the President laugh Qr)d say that in tbP | ||
- | matter of Parliamentary ProoG4.11700 c%11 LIb I11O1fOerS Wi thutc: | ||
- | 8, | ||
- | Order, Mr. Chain:Gan. You'll have to put that in the form of a Eotion | ||
- | and then well be prepared to discuss it Those for raise the | ||
- | right hand. Those against raise the loft hand Those who hold no opin- | ||
- | ion raise both hands. Scrutineers please | ||
- | Let us now turn to the Motions on the Agenda. Ah-ha-h-h, Cc-- | ||
- | tentious matter' | ||
- | Tam-Tinker-who-sat-on-a-clinIcer, | ||
- | _ | ||
- | "Point of Order!" | ||
- | "Er. President that last speaker is quite wrongt" | ||
- | You intermittently hear a timid voice trying to wrestle its way in for an explanation and your sympathy goes out to this poor dumb deluded newcomer. She has spent a bit of time worrying out the two :notions, (a) that the Club is against appointing members as lign. Members, (b) that the Club is in favour of appointing members as Hon. Members. 5 ft. 8 ins, of bristling aggressiveness leaps to his feet and tells her in fine scorn that makes her curl up at the edges that she needn' | ||
- | Let us have Hon. 1.1embers. Let us have no Hon. Lembors. | ||
- | .11 | ||
- | X equals 1 X equals -I | ||
- | Therefore X equals Nothing. | ||
- | , She doesn' | ||
- | ao4ure.- | ||
"Has a frog got ears?" | "Has a frog got ears?" | ||
- | " | + | |
- | "Order?" That goes for everyone except a small round-faced figure circulating round the room like the moon among the lesser planets. Whenever its orbit crossed another it would pause and hold a bright conversation in the charmingly precise diction of the 3-year-old, The Groat Speakers are up in full voice - Club Diplomats, Doctrinaire Accountants, | + | "Order! Order!" |
- | got ears?" | + | |
- | And now the new President has been elected. With a sigh of relief the weary Ex vacates the Chair. Straightway from the multitude | + | "Order!" That goes for everyone except a small round-faced figure circulating round the room like the moon among the lesser planets. Whenever its orbit crossed another it would pause and hold a bright conversation in the charmingly precise diction of the 3-year-old. The Great Speakers are up in full voice - Club Diplomats, Doctrinaire Accountants, |
- | 9. | + | |
- | acity: "You can't go yet', Youhaven' | + | And now the new President has been elected. With a sigh of relief the weary Ex vacates the Chair. Straightway from the multitude |
- | "The last thing? | + | |
- | 0 electric light fixture, | + | "The last thing? |
- | And so passed the'late President to a peace, pure, perfect, | + | |
+ | And so passed the late President to a peace, pure, perfect, and perpetual. | ||
The new President, Tom Moppet, took the Chair and at 11.30 declared the meeting closed. | The new President, Tom Moppet, took the Chair and at 11.30 declared the meeting closed. | ||
- | rliarl...... | + | |
- | R. liy,,_.(22p) SavaLpA_O.B.E. | + | ---- |
- | Our hearty congratulations to Bob Savage, on whom has been conferred the distinction of being an Officer of the Military | + | |
- | Bob became of member of the S.B.W. in 199. He is also an original member of the Rover Rambler Club and the :River Canoe Club. | + | =====R. W. (Bob) Savage, O.B.E.===== |
- | At the outbreak of war he was a Militia Officer in the 8th Division Signals. He transferred to the 9th Division and went to the Middle East in 1940 at Adjutant. While abroad he serVed | + | |
- | the 1st Australian Ski TrooPs | + | Our hearty congratulations to Bob Savage, on whom has been conferred the distinction of being an Officer of the Military |
- | He was honoured for highly meretorious service, and outstanding devotion to duty. " Bob's well deserved distinction has been | + | |
- | 4 | + | Bob became of member of the S.B.W. in 1929. He is also an original member of the Rover Rambler Club and the River Canoe Club. |
- | . earned in the hard way. | + | |
- | For sale, an easy way to make the walk over Narrow Neck se(.11 | + | At the outbreak of war he was a Militia Officer in the 8th Division Signals. He transferred to the 9th Division and went to the Middle East in 1940 at Adjutant. While abroad he served |
- | IN THE ELYSIAN FIELDS. | + | |
+ | He was honoured for "highly meretorious service, and outstanding devotion to duty." Bob's well deserved distinction has been earned in the hard way. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | |||
+ | For sale, an easy way to make the walk over Narrow Neck seem shorter. Impossible you say, but wait till you hear it, as hear will when you go there with Colin and Phil. First they argue about Psychology then about Radio and the merits of Practical and Technical knowledge then the conversation switches to the difference between | ||
+ | |||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | |||
+ | =====In The Elysian Fields.===== | ||
By " | By " | ||
- | "Twas Friday night when we set sail, And we were not far from the shore." | + | |
- | So runs the beginning of a ditty of adventure on the high seas. Howsomeever, | + | "'Twas Friday night when we set sail,\\ |
+ | And we were not far from the shore." | ||
+ | |||
+ | So runs the beginning of a ditty of adventure on the high seas. Howsomeever, | ||
"When the captain he spied a lovely mermaid." | "When the captain he spied a lovely mermaid." | ||
- | And so on and on and on. My harpies node on four wheels - for preference, although I wouldn' | ||
- | This, my pretty sweetings, is the beginning of a tale I am about to unfold on an Official Trip from Robertson to Robertson (?). Being possessed of initiative, stamina, and resource - ask my table mates - I had left my money and part ofmy food at home, and had once more sallied forth, a modern Diogencs, to find whether my faith in human nature were justifiable. My lamp, that symbol of disillusion- | ||
- | , ment was my thumb, either one sufficing. | ||
- | Disillusionment was speedily disillusioned. There arc Da., alEawlIne characters still to be found on Hume Highway. By truck, car, car, yet again car, and again truck, I reached Robertson about 9,30 that night. Thirsty souls were some, and at Camden and Picton did they - we - allay aching throats. And for your information, | ||
- | Robertson station is no haven fop the weary, so did I lay my head in the back of the pavilion at the " | ||
- | Eventually a three carriage train chugged in right on time, and disgorged amongst other things ten walker' | ||
- | The trip to Belmorc Palls was exceedingly pretty and unaame littla wa7 beowe the falls we left out packs at a | ||
- | , | ||
- | road junction to be picked up later. We came upon e la and the uninitiated were heard to draw in their respective | ||
- | and just as suddenly to let them out in cries of appreciation. | ||
- | s su sen y, breaths individual | ||
- | Hereat did the camera fiends get to work. These worthy five photographed everything photographable on the trip, as well all that was not. A grim battle with the sun for illumination ci- in US taking a picture of the falls under cloudy conditions, th-(:, breaking out in full brilliance an in_pta?t latpr. | ||
- | pthoviciQB*-01Lt 111.-%1- | ||
- | Having seen the sights, which took no little time, we repaired to ourgoaas and proceeded down the other road. This rapidly degenerated into a track, the whichve-lat-d little- later, describing a wide semi-eircle across-country, | ||
- | Herein comes the title. Pain would I compose an ode to Yeola, but discretion is the better part of valour. Our yearning palates were tempted whilst still only half way down by luscious blackberries, | ||
- | Morning showed afresh the surrovmdiLg1.16: | + | And so on and on and on. My harpies rode on four wheels - for preference, although I wouldn' |
- | Slowly we wended our way uphill, | + | |
- | After dallying there an hour or so we set forth and after much eating of lemins and meandering from the main track we came to a sail]. | + | This, my pretty sweetings, is the beginning of a tale I am about to unfold on an Official Trip from Robertson to Robertson (?). Being possessed of initiative, stamina, and resource - ask my table mates - I had left my money and part of my food at home, and had once more sallied forth, a modern Diogenes, to find whether my faith in human nature were justifiable. My lamp, that symbol of disillusionment was my thumb, either one sufficing. |
- | leading down into Jamberoo. The leader came in for a small measure of unpopularity) as in his zeal he had insisted | + | |
- | We reSted | + | Disillusionment was speedily disillusioned. There are many, many fine characters still to be found on Hume Highway. By truck, car, car, yet again car, and again truck, I reached Robertson about 9.30 that night. Thirsty souls were some, and at Camden and Picton did they - we - allay aching throats. And for your information, |
- | To the south the clouds were thickening and lowering Lunch soon gom- | + | |
- | , plated, we followed | + | Robertson station is no haven for the weary, so did I lay my head in the back of the pavilion at the " |
- | But not just like that. Oh, no. Nature took a hand and provided us with a 450 earthy slope) which lower down became densely | + | |
- | bushy, and at a still lower level was covered with lantana. This last we atarted | + | Eventually a three carriage train chugged in right on time, and disgorged amongst other things ten walkers. Merging into the party, I found an assortment of notorious and unknown males and females. This motley crowd was hard put to it to leave the station, but eventually found themselves on Belmore Falls Road after a certain Leon had sought out a loaf of bread. |
- | , road, Thereon sat a bus which ingested all our packs, whilst | + | |
- | You have probably all hoard that story about dingoes being the descendents of dogs landed. by Dutchmon on the North East Coast during, the seventeenth century. | + | The trip to Belmore Falls was exceedingly pretty and uneventful. Some little way before the falls we left out packs at a road junction to be picked up later. We came upon the falls suddenly, and the uninitiated were heard to draw in their respective breaths suddenly, and just as suddenly to let them out in cries of individual appreciation. |
- | "Tho dingo was one of the most ancient of the indigenous mammals of the country and abounded as now most | + | |
- | probably long before man appeared. The discovery of its remains in strata with so many axtinet | + | Hereat did the camera fiends get to work. These worthy five photographed everything photographable on the trip, as well as all that was not. A grim battle with the sun for illumination ended in us taking a picture of the falls under cloudy conditions, the sun breaking out in full brilliance an instant later. |
- | MORE TALK. | + | |
- | On Friday, April 18th, there will be a debate on the | + | Having seen the sights, which took no little time, we repaired to our packs and proceeded down the other road. This rapidly degenerated into a track, the which we left a little later, describing a wide semi-circle across-country, |
- | "That Vtgtable Foods are Best," Does vegetarianism vitiate | + | |
- | . | + | Herein comes the title. Fain would I compose an ode to Yeola, but discretion is the better part of valour. Our yearning palates were tempted whilst still only half way down by luscious blackberries, |
- | Club's most active minds will engage in the all-in debate. Clem Hall- | + | |
- | ! strom4 | + | Morning showed afresh the surrounding glories, and after more food we sorrowfully took our leave and departed back to the fairly warm and cloudy world. Not, however, without taking due toll of the lemon trees. And at this juncture may I extol the frying |
+ | |||
+ | Slowly we wended our way uphill, | ||
+ | |||
+ | After dallying there an hour or so we set forth and after much eating of lemins and meandering from the main track we came to a sawmill | ||
+ | |||
+ | We rested | ||
+ | |||
+ | But not just like that. Oh, no. Nature took a hand and provided us with a 45° earthy slope, which lower down became densely bushy, and at a still lower level was covered with lantana. This last we started | ||
+ | |||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | |||
+ | You have probably all heard that story about dingoes being the descendents of dogs landed by Dutchmon on the North East Coast during the seventeenth century. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "The dingo was one of the most ancient of the indigenous mammals of the country and abounded as now most probably long before man appeared. The discovery of its remains in strata with so many extinct | ||
+ | |||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | |||
+ | ====More Talk.==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | On Friday, April 18th, there will be a debate on the subject | ||
+ | |||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | |||
THE FRENCHMAN' | THE FRENCHMAN' | ||
a:NZ. Garradi | a:NZ. Garradi |
194704.txt · Last modified: 2018/01/15 12:23 by tyreless