Differences

This shows you the differences between two versions of the page.

--- 194704 [2017/12/19 13:08] – tyreless
+++ 194704 [2017/12/21 12:57] – tyreless
@@ Line 143: / Line 143: @@
 ----
+=====Nightmare For One of Parliamentary Procedure.=====
+By Dot English.
+__Time__: March, 1946.
+__Location__: The Rationalist Association Headquarters.
+__Voice__: "Order, Club Members! I have pleasure in announcing your new S.B.W. President - Jack Rose!"
+(Applause: Scent of violets and hyacinths - 'The heights by great mem reached and kept' - purple and fine linen - greatest honour the Club can award - dignity - integrity - deference - respect - Gloria in Excelsis - Ring the Bell, Watchman, and other expressions of triumph.)
+__End of Part 1.__
+----
+__Part 2.__
+__Time__: 1 year later.
+__Location__: The same, but now abbreviated to the Rat House. Annual meeting in progress - lots of voices talking wholesale lots of nothing - a confusion unequalled this side of delerium. Unhappy President being bombarded with Motions, Amendments and Points of Order till he feels like a fraction being reduced to its lowest terms.
+"Am I the Chairman? Am I Chief Custodian of the Bone, charged with disciplining this hydra-headed rabble, or am I merely a punching ball set up to take the verbal blows, the uppercuts, the right and left slashes in this free-for-all no-holds-barred bedlam!"
+Patience, Jack lad, Patience. That herd of Old Members settled down together in the front benches, chewing over a generous cud of their past achievements, could tell you that this sort of thing has gone on every Annual Meeting since the dawn of history when S.B.W. policy was first being torn to rags. Its flesh was hurled to the dingoes, its its bones to the crows and its scalp hung on the topmost eucalypt, but from the welter of slaughter emerged that bright shining jewel, the Constitution, miracle of perfection whose handmaiden is called Parliamentary Procedure.
+Do we hear the President laugh mirthlessly and say that in the matter of Parliamentary Procedure all Club members without exception live in a darkness as black as the back side of the moon! (Point of Order, Mr. Chairman. You'll have to put that in the form of a Motion and then well be prepared to discuss it... Those for raise the right hand. Those against raise the left hand Those who hold no opinion raise both hands. Scrutineers please...)
+Let us now turn to the Motions on the Agenda. Ah-ha-h-h, Contentious matter! All over the room members are leaping to their feet like little Tom-Tinker-who-sat-on-a-clinker, intoxicated by the sound of their own voices, all talking much too much.
+"Point of Order!" roars a 1,000 volt live member.
+"I disagree!" bellows a bull base.
+"Mr. President that last speaker is quite wrong!" shrills a high C.
+You intermittently hear a timid voice trying to wrestle its way in for an explanation and your sympathy goes out to this poor dumb deluded newcomer. She has spent a bit of time worrying out the two motions, (a) that the Club is __against__ appointing members as Hon. Members, (b) that the Club is __in favour__ of appointing members as Hon. Members. 5 ft. 8 ins. of bristling aggressiveness leaps to his feet and tells her in fine scorn that makes her curl up at the edges that she needn't go looking for niggers in the woodpile, that the motions must be read __in conjunction__, thus:-
+Let us have Hon. Members. Let us have __no__ Hon. Members.
+X equals 1. X equals -1. Therefore X equals Nothing.
+She doesn't understand. So what! That's Parliamentary Procedure.
--
-NIGHTLIARE POR ONE
-or
-PARLIAItNTARY. PROCEDURE. By Dot English. Time: March, 1946.
-Location: The Rationalist Association Headquarters.
-- Voice: "ORDER, Club Members: I have pleasure in announcing your new S.B.W. President - Jack Rose:"
-(Applause: Scent of violets and hyacinths - 'The heights "oL 'great mem reached and kept' - purple and fine linen - greatest honour
- the Club can award - dignity - integrity - deference - respect - Gloria
-in Excelsis - Ring the Bell, Watchman, and other expressions of triumoh..
-End of Part 1.
-Part 2*
-Time: 1 year later.
-Location: The same, but now abbreviated to the Rat House. Annual meeting in progress - lots of voices talking wholesale lots of nothing - a confusion unequalled this side of delerium. Unhappy President being bombarded with Motions, Amendments and Points of Order till he feels like a fraction being reduced to its lotrest terms.
-"Am I the Chairman? Am I Chief Custodian of the Bone, charged with disciplining this hydra-headed rabble, or am I merely a punching ball set up to take the verbal blows, the uppercuts, the right and left
-las-hes in this fx-se-for-all no-holds-barred bedlam:"
-Patience, Jack lad, Patience. That herd of Old :dembers setloCL 'down together in the front benches, chewing over a generous cud of t'Jei; past achievements, could tell you that this sort of thing has gond on every Annual Meeting since the dawn of history when
-first being torn to rags. Its flesh was hurled to the din3oes, its 1?6TIES to the crows and its scalp hung on the topmost eucalynt, but frorj the welter of slaughter emerged that bright shining jewel, the Constitution, laira-cle of perfection whose handmaiden is called Parlia:aenth ry
-Do we hear the President laugh Qr)d say that in tbP
-matter of Parliamentary ProoG4.11700 c%11 LIb I11O1fOerS Wi thutc:7ec_ption 11,170 in ad.1.7,ke.4Ar-1 PQ 1-41ac. as thco bac.17z side of the moon'. (Pc,tnt of
-,
-Order, Mr. Chain:Gan. You'll have to put that in the form of a Eotion
-and then well be prepared to discuss it Those for raise the
-right hand. Those against raise the loft hand Those who hold no opin-
-ion raise both hands. Scrutineers please
-Let us now turn to the Motions on the Agenda. Ah-ha-h-h, Cc--
-tentious matter'. All over the roo...1 ::.embers are leaping to their feet
-Tam-Tinker-who-sat-on-a-clinIcer, intoxicated by the sounC , of thefr own voices, all talking laich too much.
-_
-"Point of Order!" roars a 1,000 volt live =bor. "I disagree l" bellows a bull base.
-"Er. President that last speaker is quite wrongt" shrills a high C.
-You intermittently hear a timid voice trying to wrestle its way in for an explanation and your sympathy goes out to this poor dumb deluded newcomer. She has spent a bit of time worrying out the two :notions, (a) that the Club is against appointing members as lign. Members, (b) that the Club is in favour of appointing members as Hon. Members. 5 ft. 8 ins, of bristling aggressiveness leaps to his feet and tells her in fine scorn that makes her curl up at the edges that she needn't go looking for niggers in the woodpile, that the motions must be read in conjunction, thus:-
-Let us have Hon. 1.1embers. Let us have no Hon. Lembors.
-.11
-X equals 1 X equals -I
-Therefore X equals Nothing.
-, She doesn't understand. So what: That's Parliamentary - _
-ao4ure.-
 "Has a frog got ears?"
-"Order 1 Order!" and down crashes the Bone, slippery:with the blood of disturbers of the peace.
-"Order?" That goes for everyone except a small round-faced figure circulating round the room like the moon among the lesser planets. Whenever its orbit crossed another it would pause and hold a bright conversation in the charmingly precise diction of the 3-year-old, The Groat Speakers are up in full voice - Club Diplomats, Doctrinaire Accountants, Pseudo-Scientists, Ex-Army Officers, Federation Delegates, not forgetting the super-elocuent Mr. Dorman Hardy, Treasurer.--cumAuditor, but the small be-ribbonea on drifts unconcernedly through the turmoil with its mind in a tranquil land of delicate fauna..."Has a frog
+"Order! Order!" and down crashes the Bone, slippery with the blood of disturbers of the peace.
-got ears?"
-And now the new President has been elected. With a sigh of relief the weary Ex vacates the Chair. Straightway from the multitude rise a clamour asc a whole King Edwards Dogs Home yelping to (tar-
+"Order!" That goes for everyone except a small round-faced figure circulating round the room like the moon among the lesser planets. Whenever its orbit crossed another it would pause and hold a bright conversation in the charmingly precise diction of the 3-year-old. The Great Speakers are up in full voice - Club Diplomats, Doctrinaire Accountants, Pseudo-Scientists, Ex-Army Officers, Federation Delegates, not forgetting the super-elocuent Mr. Dorman Hardy, Treasurer-cum-Auditor, but the small be-ribboned one drifts unconcernedly through the turmoil with its mind in a tranquil land of delicate fauna... "Has a frog got ears?"
-.
-acity: "You can't go yet', Youhaven't 'done so-and-so yet, You do that as Chairman. Back into the Chairt (thy does he think wildly of the oloctric chair?) That is the last thing you can do from. the Chair t"
+And now the new President has been elected. With a sigh of relief the weary Ex vacates the Chair. Straightway from the multitude rises a clamour as if a whole King Edwards Dogs' Home yelping to capacity: "You can't go yet! You haven't done so-and-so yet. You do that as Chairman. Back into the Chair! (Why does he think wildly of the electric chair?) That is the last thing you can do from the Chair!"
-"The last thing? Rah: Little they know In a frenzy of cLesperation the harrassed one whips his belt into a noose around his neck, leaps from his chair to the ceiling and hangs himself from the
- electric light fixture,
+"The last thing? Hah: Little they know!" In a frenzy of desperation the harrassed one whips his belt into a noose around his neck, leaps from his chair to the ceiling and hangs himself from the electric light fixture.
-And so passed the'late President to a peace, pure, perfect, i and perpetual.
+And so passed the late President to a peace, pure, perfect, and perpetual.
 The new President, Tom Moppet, took the Chair and at 11.30 declared the meeting closed.
-rliarl......
-R. liy,,_.(22p) SavaLpA_O.B.E.
+----
-Our hearty congratulations to Bob Savage, on whom has been conferred the distinction of being an Officer of the Military DiViSiOL of the most excellent Order of the British Empire.
-Bob became of member of the S.B.W. in 199. He is also an original member of the Rover Rambler Club and the :River Canoe Club.
+=====R. W. (Bob) Savage, O.B.E.=====
-At the outbreak of war he was a Militia Officer in the 8th Division Signals. He transferred to the 9th Division and went to the Middle East in 1940 at Adjutant. While abroad he serVed in the Westera Desert, Greece, Crete, and Syria. He was promoted to Major,and formed
-the 1st Australian Ski TrooPs in Syria. He returned 'to Australia after Japan came into the war and was Lieut. Colonel in command of the 3rd. Annoured Division Signals. Upon the disbanding of the Armoured Troops, he took command of the training of Signal Reinforcements at TWiegilla (Vic.). He was promoted to Colonel in 1944. He went to Nev Guinea in 1945 as Chief Signal Officer First Australian Army, being responsible for all signal communications in New Guinea, New Britain and Bougainville.
+Our hearty congratulations to Bob Savage, on whom has been conferred the distinction of being an Officer of the Military Division of the most excellent Order of the British Empire.
-He was honoured for highly meretorious service, and outstanding devotion to duty. " Bob's well deserved distinction has been
+Bob became of member of the S.B.W. in 1929. He is also an original member of the Rover Rambler Club and the River Canoe Club.
-. earned in the hard way.
-For sale, an easy way to make the walk over Narrow Neck se(.11 shorter. Impossible you say, but wait till you hear it, as hear will when you go there with Colin and Phil. First they argue about Psychology then about Radio and the merits of Practical and Technical knowledge then the conversation switches to the difference between Toc=1. and Uni. courses and finally to Economics and Precious Stones and Hotals. By this time you have reached Corral Swamp and are amazed to rind it didn't take so long at all. Or are you tust en r-Eiliov-Gd that the arguemBnt ceases that you ohly imAgine it
+At the outbreak of war he was a Militia Officer in the 8th Division Signals. He transferred to the 9th Division and went to the Middle East in 1940 at Adjutant. While abroad he served in the Western Desert, Greece, Crete, and Syria. He was promoted to Major and formed the 1st Australian Ski Troops in Syria. He returned to Australia after Japan came into the war and was Lieut. Colonel in command of the 3rd. Armoured Division Signals. Upon the disbanding of the Armoured Troops, he took command of the training of Signal Reinforcements at Bonegilla (Vic.). He was promoted to Colonel in 1944. He went to New Guinea in 1945 as Chief Signal Officer First Australian Army, being responsible for all signal communications in New Guinea, New Britain and Bougainville.
+He was honoured for "highly meretorious service, and outstanding devotion to duty." Bob's well deserved distinction has been earned in the hard way.
+----
+For sale, an easy way to make the walk over Narrow Neck seem shorter. Impossible you say, but wait till you hear it, as hear will when you go there with Colin and Phil. First they argue about Psychology then about Radio and the merits of Practical and Technical knowledge then the conversation switches to the difference between Tech. and Uni. courses and finally to Economics and Precious Stones and Metals. By this time you have reached Corral Swamp and are amazed to find it didn't take so long at all. Or are you just en relieved that the arguement ceases that you only imagine it.
+----
 IN THE ELYSIAN FIELDS.
 By "Skip".